In November 2015 we welcomed our first daughter into the world. She was a ‘surprise’ pregnancy but welcomed none the less. When she was born we had it all planned out, we wanted an 18 month age gap between our children, so at nine months we would start trying.

We fell pregnant in November 2016 and with everything going so smoothly the first time, I was naive about the possibility of miscarriage. We had a scan at six weeks and we were measuring five days behind so they couldn’t find a heartbeat and we were told to return in a week, which we did. We got to see a nice strong flicker on the screen. We had set a date for our wedding for June 2017, so off I went dress shopping, planning to be seven months pregnant, and purchased my dream wedding dress. Just two weeks later I woke to horrible cramping. We were losing our baby. I was 9 weeks by my dates, 8 by the hospital. This hit us so hard but we got through and decided we would start trying again after I had one cycle. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant again the first month trying in April 2017, at 8 weeks we once again saw that beautiful flicker on the ultrasound screen.  ~Belinda~  Continue reading…

I was 14 and a half weeks along in my second pregnancy when I experienced our miscarriage. Our hearts were broken and the tears were continual. Our world stopped spinning. However, life brings new light as the spinning must resume. What I didn’t really understand before this happened, was the shadow that extends beyond the miscarriage itself.

After miscarrying on the Friday, I was required to book in a time for a dilation and curettage and the earliest available appointment was the Monday afternoon. Spending that weekend pregnant, but not expecting was one of the hardest things I ever did. During those days I looked down at my stomach with such heartbreak. The shadow of my miscarriage was so dark.

The day arrived and the shadow loomed darker. I drove to the hospital in a haze. I was running on autopilot. I made my way through the hospital, I filled out the forms, I answered the questions. By numbness, I was overcome. My bed arrived, and as the orderly rolled me towards the theatre, my tears began to flow. My eyes met his, and he gave me permission to continue crying. “It’s okay”, he told me. “It is a sad thing”. This kindness meant so much to me as I lay immersed in my darkness. Little did I know, this darkness was about to get deeper. Continue reading…

I was around the age of 18 when I was told that I had polycystic ovaries and endometriosis and that my chances of conceiving naturally were next to nothing. IVF was also most likely in the future for when I was ready to conceive.

I took myself off the pill and surprisingly after 3 months, my periods came back to a normal consistency and the pain was starting to ease. Within a year of being off the pill, my cycles and pain were completely normal. At 28, I met my finance and within a year of dating, we surprisingly fell pregnant, but it was over before it began. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I experienced my first natural miscarriage.

I never knew just how much I wanted to have children until my angel was taken away from me. A few months after the loss, joy was brought back into my life when my partner proposed. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him and for him to be the father of my children. So, we decided to start trying and booked our wedding in for the date of what would have been our little ones first birthday, July 8th. It was our way of saying we will never forget.  Continue reading…

In 2012, my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby after 2 years of marriage. A few months went by and I discovered I was pregnant. We went to an obstetrician who was lovely but said it was too early to tell. There was a sac but nothing inside.

We went back 2 weeks later, eager to see our baby… But the sac was still empty. It was not a viable pregnancy so I underwent my first D & C.

We were told we could try again so we did. And a few months later…another positive pregnancy test. So back to the OB we went. I had some bleeding and wasn’t feeling quite right. The OB again told us, this was not a viable pregnancy. Another empty sac… nothing growing inside. Miscarriage number two. I underwent my 2nd D & C.  My OB decided to run every blood test he could think of but nothing startling came back. Nothing which would point to multiple miscarriages. I was young, healthy and desperate to be a mum. Continue reading…

For the first time I got excited. Is this really real, am I really seeing what I’m seeing?

Time goes on…it obviously wasn’t my time. Something happened that was out of my control. People told me don’t worry it’s not just you, it happens to plenty of women.

I felt lost, empty, cried for no reason and felt I had to put a fake smiley face on as no one knew what I was going through. Attempt 2, attempt 3. I couldn’t work out why. All the parts work, I started thinking it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprise…this time feels so different. Could this time be THE time? Constantly thirsty, always feeling seedy, no energy, no motivation. I had to act normal as I didn’t want people to pick it just yet. I got paranoid, worried and nervous. What if this time is just like the others?  Continue reading…