My short story. I had 4 miscarriages, back 54 years ago. Believe me you never forget those losses. For 15 years I remembered every date the babies were to be born, their birthdays, and in my mind I celebrated their day.
Then I made a conscious decision to forget these dates but I couldn’t forget the first miscarriage birthday, due 1 January 1967, although if I really try hard I could recall the other dates.
Back then it was, “Oh well there was something wrong with the babies, the miscarriage is a way of clearing it away.” No counselling, nothing, just back to work as normal. I cried alone for many years.
No-one told me what sex the babies were. They said, “We can’t tell”, even though I lost those first ones at 4 months. Why do I refer to ‘those first ones’? Because I suspect they were twins. I had flutters at 4 months in my very lower abdomen and at a higher level. They were alive, then they died. No explanations, no counselling and no support offered.
They were the days. No-one understands the emptiness, except the mother to be. My 3rd and 6th pregnancy were full term and I had 2 daughters.
Good luck to all the ladies today that have support. It’s vital to your mental health. Support each other.