For the first time I got excited. Is this really real, am I really seeing what I’m seeing?
Time goes on…it obviously wasn’t my time. Something happened that was out of my control. People told me don’t worry it’s not just you, it happens to plenty of women.
I felt lost, empty, cried for no reason and felt I had to put a fake smiley face on as no one knew what I was going through. Attempt 2, attempt 3. I couldn’t work out why. All the parts work, I started thinking it wasn’t meant to be.
Surprise…this time feels so different. Could this time be THE time? Constantly thirsty, always feeling seedy, no energy, no motivation. I had to act normal as I didn’t want people to pick it just yet. I got paranoid, worried and nervous. What if this time is just like the others?
I became brave and embraced what was happening, finally my dream is coming true. A little family all of my own.
Time goes on, I was constantly sick, finding it hard to keep food down, I was emotional and didn’t know what to do. Others didn’t know my news so again the fake smile was put on. I thought to myself, ‘Am I going to be able to handle this?’
6 week scan there’s a heartbeat – tick. 10 week NIPT blood test done – all clear, tick. 12 week scan – all normal, tick. But still I was nervous. I could’t feel anything, yet the symptoms were still there. Fatigue, waking up through the night, even naughty cravings.
The nerves still hung around, I tried to stay positive but the past crept in now and again. At what point do you give yourself permission to celebrate?
I have wanted this for so long and it’s finally here. The scans show the growth, my belly is starting to grow. It’s time, time to celebrate. I owe it to myself, my husband and I owe it to little bub. It’s time to cherish the journey!